Paranoia
by AuthorA97
Summary: Virgil didn't like thinking about his past...


"Virgil?" Thomas asked.

Virgil let out a small him. He looked up at Thomas, his bangs falling over a single eye. He was starting to brood, Virgil was self-aware enough for that.

It was just...all he could think about was-

==P==

_He couldn't remember exactly when he started. Sides weren't like people. They weren't..._born _in that sense. They only...merely...developed._

_His first thoughts of life- or the closest comparison he had to it- was the day Thomas' mother had left him behind for his first day of 1st grade._

"_You'll do great, sweetie." Mom had told Thomas. "The day will be over before you know it, then you'll wonder what you were even worried about."_

'But what if...what if I don't forget?' _He thought, solidifying his existence as a Side. _Like a child, finally speaking their first word. 'What if...what if everything I'm scared about is gonna happen?'

==P==

_Yeah, by the end of the day, Mom had been right. Everything had gone great._

_That didn't stop him from existing though._

_Nor would it ever._

==P==

_Later that week...he met The Others._

_The first Side to come to him, named himself Remus. The Side was...more twisted than his brother, Roman. But everyone else here called them the Prince and the Duke. _

_The Prince dressed like he couldn't decide if he liked Eric, Charming, or Philip so he got all three. Even his hair had the classic Disney swoop._

_The Duke was...eww. He dressed like any Disney villian only...only like if the musical numbers were thrown in. His clothes looked sophisticated on the surface but a closer look revealed a trash bag, tagged with green film of other plastic bags and thrown out glitter._

_He preferred the clothes he'd picked- a black jacket, shirt, and that's it. He didn't want to be showy._

_Remus preferred his own name, too. Another oddity with the Dark-Creativity._

_He wondered what it was like, having your own name. So he asked Remus, how did he get a name?_

"_Easy. I just picked one I liked that would bother Roman!" Remus explained._

"_That's not how names work. Someone's supposed to give it to you." He pointed out, plainly. "That's how it is with Thomas."_

"_Yeah? How do you know?" Remus snapped. "Maybe Thomas picked his name by telling mom about it while still in her stomach."_

"_Moms can't hear babies-"_

"_I know! That's why Thomas had to talk _really loudly_! He sounded like a whale."_

_He grimaced in disgust. "No he didn't!"_

"_Yeah. But wouldn't it have been cool if he did?" Remus chuckled._

_He didn't like this Side._

_And when he didn't like something, he had to make it known._

==P==

"You okay buddy?" Thomas asked.

Virgil snapped out of his thoughts. "Oh. Uh...I just...I'm a little disappointed in myself." Virgil admitted with a sigh. He rubbed the side of his skull.

==P==

_He called himself Deceit, the next Side he met._

_Deceit was more showy than Remus. Dressed in a long black cape, hiding away the clothes underneath. Like if _Phantom of the Opera _has gone with Voldemort's snake instead of a mask._

"_So. I hear you're the new guy. I _sure hope _Remus didn't give you any trouble."_

"_N-no. He was okay, I guess." He nervously scuttled his foot on the floor of their common space._

_Normally he would hide in his room. Thomas hadn't needed him, since _Morality _was at the wheel for most of the day. Sometimes _Logic _took over which was less fun._

_Logic never let him have a turn._

_Didn't he know how dangerous it was out there? How bad it could all go?_

_What if Thomas answered a question then his voice cracked? What if he got the question wrong? What if Thomas forgot it after he raised Thomas' hand but the teacher called on him and he stil Fitbit so he looked stupid in front of everyone?_

_He had a lot to think about in his free time._

_Yet he knew it wasn't good to spend so much time in his room. If he stayed too long...he got worse. _

_Which is what brought him to meeting Deceit. This Side's most glorious moment was- successfully stealing a cookie from the jar._

_(Morality had made Thomas apologize but for a few minutes he had enjoyed a cookie)_

"_Hmm. Still. Feel free to...come by, and speak with me. If you need the assistance. New Sides tend to have a lot of questions." Deceit stated._

"_They do?"_

"_Of course! There's a lot to ask questions about. A lot of things...going wrong." Deceit then turned away, as if he'd said too much. "I should go-"_

"_Wait! You could stay?" He asked._

_Deceit turned to him. "But of course. Just tell me, what Side do you think you are?"_

_He teased on the couch. "Thomas-"_

"_-Thomas can't decide anything for you, not until he knows who you are." Deceit explained. "And he won't know who you are until you _show him. _So tell me, newbie...what's your name?"_

_He swallowed, nervous._

"**Paranoia."**

==P==

He remembered the song they had sung, not so long along.

'_I knew you'd listen to me, as too scary to ignore. I thought that I could take it. All the hate could just be shaken. But when you care for someone, not much hurts more than their scorn. I also felt bad.'_

"I thought I would be able to protect you from them." Virgil admitted.

'_By that, I mean, well, _mean. _But I did what I thought that I had to- which is bad too! I don't have to act all tough. Sometimes love is enough.'_

'_Or what we need.'_

==P==

_Years went by. Paranoia became a stronger presence for Thomas._

_His angst phase- boy was a rough one._

_Joining theatre, all the chaos that came with it. _

_Realizing he liked _boys_. Oh the arguments and rants Paranoia had gone through. _

_Vine. All the mishaps that somehow worked out._

_College. Midterms. _Finals. _Paranoia had some hard work on those days. _

_Paranoia worked a lot with The Dark Sides. Remus was good at feeding Paranoia. Remus would come up with awful ideas-("_What if your pants fell down? What would happen if an anvil fell on your head right now? I bet someone is breaking into your car and taking a dump on the backseat") _which gave Paranoia a lot of fear to push. Deceit would occasionally help, if only by giving Paranoia misleading facts._

_He had other friends- bad friends. Friends that Paranoia didn't like talking about._

_So much so that, if he ever talked with the Light Sides they automatically assumed him a Dark Side too. _

_Which...didn't feel all that great._

_He didn't want to be a Dark Side._

_He only wanted to help Thomas._

_Wasn't that what any good Side aimed for?_

==P==

"The Dark Sides?" Thomas asked, all confused and unaware like the living breathing wide eyed deer that he was.

"The others." Virgil corrected. He ran his hands over his eyes, probably sniffing his eyeliner. "I thought I knew how to handle them."

==P==

_Then...one day...one of Thomas' friends had a breakdown in front of Thomas._

_The boy assured their sobbing friend, let them cry all over his shirt even if he had no idea what was going on._

_When they had stopped crying, Morality had put some tears in Thomas' eyes at the pain they had gone through._

"_Joan? What happened?" Thomas asked._

_Paranoia listened in- expecting the worst. As always._

"_It's nothing-"_

"_No. I know it wasn't _nothing_." Thomas countered._

'_Maybe they're hurt. Maybe someone hurt them.' Paranoia thought. 'Maybe- oh maybe just maybe- Joan thinks we hate them.'_

"_What happened?" Thomas asked._

_Joan wiped at their cheeks. "Nothing! Just an anxiety attack. I get them sometimes."_

_Other things were talked about in that conversation. Paranoia didn't pay attention much._

_Because...because that word, _anxiety..._it made something in him click._

==P==

Thomas was laughing, because Thomas didn't understand. Virgil couldn't blame him.

'_You've never had anything to hide.' Deceit said. That stupid smug glint in his snake eyes that made Virgil feel sick.'_

"Well...I think we're all trying to figure them out for now." Thomas assured. "It'll take some time to figure everything out."

"Yeah but I should know better." Virgil argued.

==P==

_Like the fool he was, Paranoia went to Deceit._

"_What's Anxiety?" Paranoia asked._

_Deceit hummed, disinterested. "It's fear. Basic, instinctive fear. Like you, but it actually gets the job done." He left- probably to trick another Dark Side._

_But Paranoia was holding onto that...Anxiety could get the job done._

'_I knew you'd listen to me- as too scary to ignore.'_

_Besides. Anxiety sounded more...fitting to Paranoia._

_He needed more facts though._

_Everyone knows where you get facts._

==P==

_The Teacher pushed back his glasses. "Explain."_

_Paranoia stopped. He hadn't expected that greeting. "What's 'anxiety'?"_

_The Teacher went off on his explanation. Rattling off facts that Paranoia usually did he best to ignore._

_He soaked them in this time._

_This time was...important._

_By the end of the explanation, the Teacher was giving Paranoia a curious look. "Why brought you to ask me these questions, Paranoia?"_

_Par- He swallowed. He wasn't sure what he was thinking. He wasn't sure what he wanted to share this with a Light Side._

"_Nothing." Then he left._

==P==

_He sighed. "Remus?"_

_The Dark Creativity Side turned to him. Remus beamed. "Hey there old buddy! How's it going?"_

_He winced. "You said that you picked your name."_

_Remus blinked- that odd blink where he did it one eye at a time. "Uh-huh."_

"_What...what made you _know _that was your name?" He asked, nervously stuffing his hands in his jacket pockets. "Not- not just something you made up?"_

"_Easy! I knew it was mine cause I liked it!" Remus stated. "Like I like the flavor of shaving cream!"_

_He scrunched up his face in disgust. "Yep. That's about what I should have expected." _

_He left...somehow getting the exact answer he wanted._

==P==

"Isn't that kind of unfair? Why should you be held to a different standard than any other Side?" Thomas asked.

Virgil huffed.

==_P==_

_He appeared before Thomas, as all the Sides had at one point._

"_Hey. I bet your video was bad- and nobody liked it." He told Thomas._

_The man yelled. "NO! No that's not- _ugh _what are you?! Are you another _Side?! _Aren't they supposed to be nice?"_

_Anxiety grinned. "Nah."_

==P==

"_It's Anxiety now." He told the Teacher._

_Logic did what it always did- accepted the facts, and moved forward with them._

_In a day, all the Sides knew that Paranoia had changed to Anxiety._

_And that Anxiety had left the band behind him._

_He wasn't Paranoia anymore. _

==P==

_He was in his new room._

"_What's this I hear about you changing your name?" Deceit asked._

_Anxiety stared at him, annoyed. He was adding eye-shadow._

_New name, new me._

"_What?" Anxiety deadpanned. "Didn't know I needed to 'check' with you, Snake- face."_

_Deceit smiled thinly and laughed fairly. "Yes. But...why _Anxiety_? Everyone knows what you really are, Paranoia."_

_Anxiety slammed his eyeshadow pen down._

_Deceit raised an eyebrow._

"_I'm __**Anxiety**__." Anxiety stated plainly. "That's who I am- looking back, it's who I've always been. Paranoia was _never _what made me feel-"_

"_What, like one of those silly Light Sides?" Deceit mocked. "Tell me- have you picked your own _name _like they have?"_

_Anxiety glared. "Get out of my room."_

"_You do!" Deceit cackled._

_Anxiety stood up. He glared Deceit down. "I said-"_

_Deceit's eyes widened._

"_-_**get out."** _Anxiety's voice echoed darkly in his room. _

_The Snake-like Side vanished._

_Anxiety let himself relax._

_Time to annoy Thomas._

_Thomas had started to relax, anyway. _

==P==

Virgil sighed.

"I was one." He revealed to Thomas.

Thomas stared, stunned. Smile gone from his face.

Virgil let himself sink down.

His history would be a story for another day.

==P==

_Oh but he never had anything to hide...no oh no oh no._

_Isn't that right, _Virgil?

**==P==**

**AN: Well...I had thoughts from the series. I decided to do this after the last episode. Remus is a trash baby, and I'm already working on a cosplay of him.**

**(As for why I consider this part of the '52' series...the prompt was 'ends in a cliffhanger'...and I never plan on finishing it. Ha).**


End file.
